is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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