Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
