if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
