That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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