Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize