Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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