I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
