47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
