i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
