Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize