watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize