Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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