She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days