Can i not drive my cunt home
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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