why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
