All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
