I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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