problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
