your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
