Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
