just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
