Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
someone owes me an orgasm
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
