I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
