I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
