Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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