is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
