which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
