Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
only you would photoshop your dick
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
