wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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