using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
