So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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