you win again, gameday.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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