i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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