My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
