cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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