i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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