Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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