I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
