I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
