areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My vagina just clenched in fear
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
