We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
