Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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