you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's paint friendship bongs
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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