I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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