She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
