would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My balls are so social today.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
