are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
