White coat. Heels.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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