Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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