I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize