I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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