I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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