Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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