I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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