Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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