People with herpes should wear stickers.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
