carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
