U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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