I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
