i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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