I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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